Otto turns four

Dear Otto,

Today you turned four. I kept telling you things about when you were a baby or the day you came out of my tummy. You love that. Your face lights up. You love the stories. You love to hear what you ate, what you looked like, who you loved, what we did and where we went. 

I can't believe you're four. I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you're mine. You are everything to me. I love you. 

All month, you talked incessantly about your birthday. We looked at calendars. We counted days and weeks and you wanted me to describe the details of your anticipated birth date. 

We had a Paw Patrol birthday party for you and Aksel the evening Lilly arrived from Utah. The Mullins, the Packers, and Star Andrews came. We sang, we ate cupcakes, we ate popcorn, we opened gifts, and we watched Paw Patrol. 

This past month you learned to ride a bike, found your first crab, learned how to play Chutes & Ladders, gave a primary talk in both English and French, went to the Netherlands, translated Luxembourgish for your immigrant mother, checked out library books, went to a duck race, fed reindeer carrots, fought with Aksel, kissed Ingrid, sat in an airplane, went to a butterfly garden, ate gelato, and road a canal boat in Amsterdam.

On your birthday, we took Funfetti cupcakes to school with you and your class sang Happy Birthday to you in English. At lunch, Dad came home from work and we ate donuts, sang Happy Birthday, opened presents, called Grandma and Grandpa, played with Legos, played with play dough, and then spent the afternoon at Zig Zag with the Mullins. After an epic meltdown about wanting soda instead of water to quench your thirst, we came home and ate homemade pizza, watched Paw Patrol, had a few more meltdowns, fought over a few helicopters and then collapsed into your bed.

You claim you're taller and stronger now that you're four, and I believe you. 

Honestly Otto, it's been a really hard month. You've had lots of anger, lots of meltdowns, lots of hitting, lots of crying, and lots of hard moments. But the moments when we're alone, when you're holding my hand, when you're asking me thoughtful questions, when your face lights up with happiness, when you hug me tightly, when you say I love you too, without missing a beat, when you play Chutes and Ladders, when you successfully ride your bike, when you share with Aksel, when you kiss Ingrid, when you run and jump into Ben's arms, when you look at Lilly with adoration, and when you sing The Spirit of God at the top of your lungs, I feel as if my heart may burst. It carries us all through. It lets us forgive and fall in love with each other all over again. 

I love you, Otto. Thank you for coming to our family. Thank you for pushing me to the limit. Thank you for teaching me more about the Savior and the Atonement than I ever expected to learn. Thank you for teaching me humility. Thank you for teaching me love. Thank you for letting me fail over and over again only to quickly forgive me. Thank you for being my little Ottobot. 

Mom