Schloss Drachenburg

Ben came home one day and said he'd read about a beautiful castle, Schloss Drachenburg, outside of Bonn, Germany. The next Saturday morning, we packed ourselves up and made the two-hour drive to Köningswinter.

We rode the Drachenfels Railway up and down the mountain to the late 19th Century private villa and then took a "tour" by walking through it very quickly, taking as many pictures as we could, and encouraging our children to stop touching as many things as we could.

We made a picnic lunch in the gardens and soaked in the beauty of the grounds, the view of the Rhine river, mountains, foggy skies, and opulence of the estate. We purchased a Christmas ornament from the gift shop and drove home talking about the wealth and beauty of Germany while our children slept in the back seat.

7 Months

The highlight of my week right now is going to the grocery store on Saturday mornings sans children. 

This week, I met a man at the grocery store who thought The North Face logo on my coat was a mormon missionary name tag. He asked me if I was mormon. Then he told me a dirty joke. Then he asked me if I was American. And then he spent the next 25 minutes telling me how wonderful the National Parks are in the state of Utah. Then he asked me if I was married. Then he told me killing Ben wouldn't be a problem but the three children were a deal breaker. And THEN he told me that his name was Andrew, son of Joseph and that if I could find him again, the mormon missionaries could teach him more about my religion. 

Then his cousin walked by and tried to pull him away from me while telling me that their fathers were in a concentration camp together in Germany during World War II. 

And then I bought a lot of Easter candy. And the most incredible fresh fruits and vegetables. 

Thank you, Luxembourg. 

Things I want to remember about the past month in Luxembourg: 

Going swimming at the Syrdall Schwemm pool in Niederanven. 

Ben taking Otto to La Belle Etoile for new school slippers and returning with red crocs. 

Going to dinner at Happ with Ashley, Lori, and Madi. 

Bringing bikes inside and letting the boys ride the around the main floor. 

Bringing Otto a treat whenever I picked him up from school.

Snow -- driving in the snow, Otto and Ben shoveling snow and covering our sidewalks and driveway with snow melt, watching the snow fall from our bedroom window, and Ben and Otto building a snowman in the yard. 

Aksel asking me to help him write letters, specifically w, x, y, and z.

Aksel taking an interest in counting, especially with fingers.

Celebrating Ingrid's first birthday. Ben made his mom's homemade chocolate cinnamon cake, Otto picked out a doll for her from Cactus, and we celebrated at the Packer's after dinner. She could tell we were singing for her. 

Weaning Ingrid. 

Tracey Oliver coming over to hang out. 

Watching The Mentalist.

Otto going to Sunbeams at Church. 

Aksel finally stopped crying when we took him to nursery. 

Otto's teachers excited to see me during pick-up one afternoon. They had taken a video of Otto actually playing and engaging with other children at school. We were all so happy!

Saying goodbye to Ashley Mosher, who moved to Seattle.  

Playing the piano during Sacrament meeting at church. 

Otto calling Ingrid his tiny Ingrid.

Calling an OBGYN to get an appointment and being told the doctor wasn't seeing new patients until 2017, but a new doctor in the office could see me in 30 minutes. 

Once at the doctor's office, the receptionist motioned for me to use the restroom (I could only assume for a urine sample, especially because there was a large stack of plastic cups and paper towels on a table in the bathroom). I brought out my urine sample (as I did EVERY time I went to an appointment in the United States of America), and everyone FREAKING OUT. 

Otto sleep walking.

Sunday dinners with the Packers. 

Saying goodbye to Mumu Tahi, who moved back to Tahiti. 

Convincing Ben to be my translator during Fast and Testimony meeting one Sunday. As I finished, he leaned into the microphone and said, that counts for me too. Classic. 

Making and eating lots of cookies/dough and getting salmonella poisoning. 

Making homemade clam chowder with frozen clams. 

Feeding the missionaries. 

Texting with Elise.

Aksel pooping in the bathtub.

Aksel hugging Otto from behind and wrestling him to the ground.

Ingrid playing with the magnets on the fridge.

Ingrid begging for cookie dough.

Carlos and Michelle Rodriguez walking though the snow to deliver Yudri's homemade Rice Pudding. 

Aksel playing with Russian dolls.

Dinner with Becky and Star at Notaro.

Ingrid signing for milk/anything by using the milk sign.

Aksel licking his bottom lip until it is raw and red. 

Aksel not wanting to hold hands as we cross the street.

Ben's feet ripping a hole in our sheets.

Everyone getting fevers.

Aksel singing the Wheels on the Bus at the top of his lungs from his bed.

Ingrid kissing her baby, holding her baby, carrying her baby around and squealing if anyone touches her baby doll. 

Anniversary dinner from New Delhi, Rittersport dessert, and watching The Mentalist.

Our kids never wanting to leave the house and feeling really panicky when we do.

Getting rolls at Smatch.

Going to the Dent Creuse on Sunday afternoon -- the original birthplace of the city of Luxembourg and the only remaining trace of the fort built by Count Siegfried of Lorraine in 965 AD.

Ben giving a talk in Church about apostasy and the need to follow the handbook. 

Otto wearing a viking hat all of the time. 

Dinner with Darrell and Lori at Um Dierfgen -- a traditional Luxembourgish restaurant and dessert at Place Guillame II. 

Tram Museum with Becky and her kids. 

Going to Zig Zag with Oliver Mosher one last time. 

Madi coming over after school one afternoon to help and bringing cookies and éclairs from the Gasperich bakery. 

Saturday morning bakery trip for cookies, quiche, pain au chocolate and more éclairs. 

Ben coming home from work early one Friday and picking Otto up from school. Maybe Otto's favorite day, yet. 

Rearranging chores: reassigning unloading the silverware to Aksel and giving Otto taking out the trash.

Otto and Aksel playing with the wands from Liichtmëssdag.

Ingrid wanting me to put hand sanitizer on her hands all the time.

Raclette with the missionaries.

Otto and I eating chocolate on the way to school in the afternoon.

Ben making the missionaries give the elder's quorum lesson.

Playing with playdough at the Packers.

Ingrid learning to walk. 

Introducing the boys to Nutella.

Ingrid sleeping through the night.

Ingrid squawking at the sight of cookies or chocolate chips until we put one in her mouth.

Otto and Ingrid playing happily in the car.

Otto playing with Ralphie at school.

Going to the aquarium and park next door. 

Aksel throwing up as we were walking out the door on a Valentine's Day date. Getting Indian takeout instead. 

Ben getting me a gift from Villeroy & Bosch.

Otto celebrating Carnival at school and wearing his monkey suit to a party one Friday afternoon.

Half term break.

Bennett's birthday party. Otto wrapped his gift, carefully wrote his name, and taped fruit snacks to the top. 

Zig zag with Packers.

Ben shaved his beard.

Taking the kids to the Vitarium with Madi. 

I feel like I've turned a corner. I now have a long list of things I'd truly miss about Luxembourg and a long list of things I still want to do and quiches I want to try. 

There's great satisfaction in the simplicity of our life right now. We walk most places. We eat fresh food and chocolate. And we don't do much besides taking care of our children, reading books, watching Luxembourg Netflix, and figuring out what restaurant we will try next. 

There's a lot of things we gave up and said goodbye to in exchange for this experience. Before coming here, I didn't realize how much time and mental capacity I spent on things that didn't matter. Luxembourg quickly (and painfully) rearranged my priorities and my perspective for me. 

Becoming who you want to be is a demanding and relentless task. It's one I give up on some days and one I dominate on other days. But it's one I will keep trying for. 

Thank you, Luxembourg. 

Liichtmëssdag and Chandeleur

Liichtmëssdag 

February 2 is a holiday in Luxembourg called Liichtmësdag.

Liichtmëssdag is Luxembourgish for “light mass day.” The celebration harks back to the Pagan holiday of Imbolc, a celebration where farmers performed rituals they believed would ensure a stable source of food. This occurred at the midpoint between winter and spring, as food stocks grew low and as the days slowly grew longer. Torch processions took place and fires were lit in celebration of Brigid, the goddess of fire, healing and fertility, and symbolized the increasing power of the sun in the coming months – which, of course, is a critical factor in growing bountiful crops.

On the evening of Liichtmëssdag, children gather with homemade lanterns and walk from door to door in their towns singing a song called “Härgottsblieschen” in exchange for candy. The song wishes for a healthy and prosperous year in exchange for treats. Liichtmëssdag literally translates into light mass day. 

Last week, Otto's teachers sent home a note asking I buy a little toy lantern at a neighborhood bodega, Smatch. I bought two, wrote Otto's name on one and sent it to school with him last Friday. 

His teachers also asked if I would be willing to hand out candy to the two preschool classes if they were to stop by and sing a song. I was so excited to comply! According to Soren (Ben's colleague at PwC), this holiday is one of the best parts about being a child in Luxembourg. 

When the children arrived and started singing, I took as many pictures and videos as I could and clapped and yelled. I'm sure I really embarrassed Otto. I'm sure I looked like a ridiculously over-excited American woman. I do both a lot. 

I wasn't sure how much candy to have or if anyone would ring our bell and sing for candy because holidays here are confusing. There's such a mixture of cultures and some people celebrate holidays and others don't.

Two groups of kids came by and dutifully sang for candy. We have lots of chocolate left over. Not a problem. 

Chandeleur

In French tradition, Chandeleur (Candlemas) is celebrated by eating a crêpe. In fact, Chandeleur (February 2) is also often referred to as National Crêpe Day. Since the shape of the crêpe is round and gold – just like the sun – it is a food that celebrates the fact that spring is just around the corner. 

Several legends have become attached to the eating of crêpes on this day. One instructs people to save the first crêpe that is made in their cupboard as a sort of sacrifice to ensure a bountiful harvest later in the year. Another legend predicts that if the crêpe can be flipped successfully while the cook holds a coin in the other hand, a family will have prosperity in the coming year. In one version of the crêpe-flipping legend, the cook is specifically instructed to hold either a piece of gold or a failing currency in their right hand while flipping the crêpe with their left. 

Since none of this information mattered to Otto, Aksel, and Ingrid, I told them it was a special pancake holiday and we sang and danced around the kitchen while I made them crêpes. Ingrid loved them. Aksel didn't even try them and Otto really wanted one but couldn't stay awake long enough to eat one. Ben and I enjoyed them. And we plan on enjoying the every February 2 from here on out. 

Half a Year

A lot can happen in six months. 

As we returned to Luxembourg from Utah earlier this month, I realized how much we had figured out, overcome, conquered, and adapted to in Luxembourg. With major government and health registrations out of the way, doctor and pediatrician phone numbers programmed into my phone, grocery store hours memorized, and an official Luxembourg driver's license in our possession, our return felt like a game-changer.

The hypervigilance I felt for a long time about how to feed my family, how to get my family medical help, how to call someone, how to navigate social situations, and how to keep everyone entertained until our shipment arrived are long forgotten. I feel more relaxed. I feel more confident. And I feel more at home. 

I'm totally over the naked lady pictures on every bathroom fixture delivery vehicle. The thunder of airplanes passing over our house every few minutes doesn't make me stop in my tracks. I don't panic when Aksel walks up and down the stairs by himself. And I don't feel annoyed by going to the grocery store every 2-3 days; I look forward to it and the chance to try new bread and chocolate. I don't feel so embarrassed by the fact that I'm a weird American that can only speak one language and can't seem to master French, German, and Luxembourgish while taking care of three small children. I don't feel nervous in our basement or when Ben is gone late at night. I can make complete meals. 

I knew things were different (read: better), when I found myself putting a first aid kit in the car, stocking water in our storage room, or looking for a gymnastics class for Otto and Aksel. I realized I was finally out of survival mode and was looking for ways to improve our quality of life, plan for the future, and be more prepared for come what may.

I wish there was a way to remember everything like: the pink wall paper on our first floor, the giant clumps of moss that fall from the roof and litter our back deck and sidewalk, the sound of our neighbors scooting chairs out from underneath their tables, the aroma of the Ariel detergent, or the taste of Yudri's food.

We celebrated our six-month anniversary in Luxembourg by drinking a Schweppes Agrum and eating caprese, avocados, salami, prosciutto, fresh rolls, and brie. 

Things I want to remember about the past month in Luxembourg: 

Aksel playing with water, a teacup and a kettle at our kitchen sink. 

The Packers coming over to play, eat Norwegian waffles and watch Curious George. 

Otto throwing up. 

Ben going to the White's one evening to watch Suits.

Ben and Otto going to the White's for dinner one Sunday, and watching The Lion King with Kyla. 

Seeing live swans on the Moselle River. 

Going to the Trier, Germany Christmas Market with George and Karen.

Going to the new airplane park in Cents.

Finding egg nog at Delhaize.

Making sugar cookies. 

Making pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.

Riding bikes around our block and neighborhood. 

Singing Christmas songs. 

Running and singing to See Me Run.

My dad having a stroke.

Packing for our trip to Utah.

George and Karen coming for Christmas.

Karen falling out of our shower and knocking down the curtain. 

Blessings from Grandpa George. 

Flying to Utah. 

Letting Hosanna Stoke's family stay in our home while we were in the states. 

Flying back to Luxembourg. 

Getting over our jet lag. 

Taking down the Christmas tree and dragging it to the curb and then watching helplessly as the wind blew it down the street. 

Ben saying: I can feel the U.S. leaving my body.

Our neighbor, Kim, knocking on the door and telling me she backed into our car while we were away on holiday. 

Ingrid screaming and writhing around.

A quiche from the bakery.

Taking Ingrid to Dr. Dany Heyart as soon as we returned for a double ear infection. 

Otto tasting a cookie and saying: Good job not burning the cookies mommy!

Teaching Otto how to sound out words and read. 

Otto saying moien audibly and loudly on his first day back to school and blowing everyone away. 

Aksel wanting to sit in our laps all of the time. 

Ben successfully rocking Ingrid to sleep!

Otto turning into a little helper and assisting Aksel with shoes or toys and playing with Ingrid and keeping her happy. 

Having a cold for an entire month. 

Making muffins. 

Filling prescriptions. 

Otto praying for it to snow. 

Aksel being obsessed with Cinderella.

Eating the rest of Ben's Firkløver chocolate bar and the look on his face when he found out. 

Confessing to Ben and Kate my secret fear that the remaining six people of the terrorist cell responsible for the attack in Paris (who are still at large) are going to make their way to Luxembourg and hold hostage/kill me and my three babies. 

Meeting the Moshers and Packers at Zig Zag. 

Writing down activities on the popsicle sticks from the Christmas nativity and having the boys pick something to do when we were stir crazy.

Otto and Ben playing baseball in the yard.

Asking our neighbor, Andi, how their holiday in Austria was and her reply: Not so good. And tiring. We have children.

Ben loving his Jawbone UP and scanning and logging everything he eats and does. 

The employee at Zig Zag telling me that Aksel and I look a lot alike. And then telling me that he knows my husband speaks French and so he's going to do me the favor of only speaking to me in French.

Putting Otto in a booster seat so we have a little more room in the car. 

Tess and Tesśy gushing over how well Otto is doing this term. 

Aksel calling our names in the night so we will come in, hold him, and sing to him. 

Teaching Otto about matches. 

Aksel telling Ingrid to "go play" whenever he wants her to go away so he can have my attention. 

Doing patty cake/peekaboo 100 times a day with Ingrid. 

Aksel finally being willing to say a prayer. 

Ingrid giving kisses. 

I feel mostly gratitude that the first six months are behind us. They were incredibly hard. I tell most people that living in Luxembourg has held incredible highs and soul-crushing lows. And it's true. But what a ride it's been. It's not one I'll ever forget or regret.